Post Top Ad

Post Top Ad

Sunday, 12 June 2016

How to Keep Peace in Your Marriage

 It is a painful, hurtful emotion to suspect that your partner is cheating on you, because a woman’s intuition is always, almost 100% correct. Nine out of ten times you most definitely will be right. The signs are always there. The regular air of distraction, the ‘cockroach chasing chickens’ arguments that are as senseless as the phrase sounds, the late night office hours, broken promises of family or couple time, the whole ten yards.

You need to understand where your position is first. You need to ask yourself the following questions. Are you ready to face the truth? , Do you love him enough to let bygones be bygones and move on? , Will you be able to ever trust him again and Are you strong enough to end the relationship if he chooses the other woman or man over you?

Once you know your answers then you can prepare. First it is a popular saying that assumption is the mother of all mess-ups, so DO NOT ASSUME YOU ARE RIGHT. BE SURE THAT YOU ARE.  That means physical, irrefutable proof that can stand alone that he is cheating. This makes the conversation you have with him easier on your psyche since he wouldn’t be able to deny it or distract you from the facts.

4 Words that Can Destroy a Relationship

You want to keep calm and contemplative at all times, believe it or not prayers and meditation helps. Cry if you have to, throw a temper tantrum if you must but ensure it is on your own time and you get rid of all the angst piled up. This puts you in the right frame of mind to plan. You don’t want to spread your fears or thoughts on the matter before actually having the conversation (not confrontation, conversation) with him. Not only will it alert him, it will also give him the moral high ground and lots of room to wrangle himself out of it especially if he isn’t yet guilty (yet to go to second base) or he is actually honest to God innocent (girl you were delusional about the whole thing). You are mature about it, tell him your feelings after he has owned up to it and explained himself. He may have been confused, seduced, blackmailed whatever.  Depending on his outlook (Relief that the truth is out he doesn’t need to pretend anymore or Guilt that he got caught and shame because it meant nothing to him) then your decisions come into play.

You need time and space; a period of separation to regroup and deal with it because no matter what proof you have hearing his admission of guilt will still hurt. Chances are he either ends the affair or your relationship. You need to be prepared for either/or unless you are willing to share (…and girl I hope you think more of yourself than to share a man with anyone because HIV/AID and other itchy STDs are real!)

Make you your First Priority, take care of yourself make time for leisure activities with your friends, family and colleagues. Take up a hobby and try something new. Stop believing, he is your only chance at love and start a daily self-worth journal telling yourself each day why you are worthy of true love! Don’t let the crisis dominate or direct your life. Chances are if he sees you moving on so soon he will strive to have you back.  Ha! Now that’s what I am talking about.  If he wants you back now is the time to slay the beast in him that was sneaking around with “Funke with the Fake hair!”.  Make sure you play a long game that lets him know if he tries it again he’ll lose his wife!

Seek out counselling for yourself or for both of you whichever applies. Do not spend long periods of time alone gather fun loving people around you and take each day as it comes.

Weigh the pros and the cons and play devils’ advocate always maintain your composure and mental maturity it goes a long way to win back your man, if not him some other dude will come along.

 courtesy -Diamond woman