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Wednesday, 15 June 2016

For Couples - Bursting Dating Myths

  Sometimes we wonder why strange things happen in relationships, just like in life, no one size fits all. We’ve seen dropouts become CEOs of large corporations and very talented kids play the piano at five or even an octogenarian skydive on his birthday. These are out of ordinary that keeps us thinking strange things can still happen even in relationships.


  Our backgrounds and exposures largely influence our outlook on life and our decisions. Our mind are programmed to expect a certain result in a particular circumstance but then we see something else instead.

  Getting married to a stranger you think you know and claim to love is a risk in itself and dating is even another risk but staying within your comfort zones might not get you anywhere so get rid of your fears and try something new. If what you’ve done for a couple of years hasn’t worked then it’s time to think differently and try something else;
And we always think

1.Dating From Similar Race Makes The Transition To Marriage Easier -
The older generation seem to know a thing or two about relationships and lay claim to the fact that the more differences you’ve got the more they’ll work against you. They must hiss and sigh in displeasure as this generation has thrown cation to the wind and out and about taking risks they never even dreamt of. Opposites attract, we’ve heard that before and that’s the notion of the younger couples. They want sometime really different from them to get things going. Don’t let the fears of the older generation rub off on you, who knows if your spouse has been waiting for you to change your mind about dating someone from your  tribe. There are almost enough couples on either side if the divide to prove that getting married from the same tribe doesn’t add as much value as advertised.

2.The Smartest And Prettiest Women Get Married First –
I’m sure while you were still in the university, there were ladies who were very pretty and attractive, dressed smartly with the latest arrivals available in the stores, they seem to have it all going for them while you though they would get married right after graduation. Were you right? Nope. You’re probably surprised when you chat with your fiends or hollow them in social media that years after they are still looking for love. It takes more than a pretty face to get a good guy pursuing you. The guys will tell you that they want beauty that’s not just skin deep. Bring pretty is great, if you’ve got it flaunt it but wake up to the reality that the average guy is looking for a wife and a mum.

3.Dating For Years Will Guarantee You Get To Know Him Inside Out –
Most times we hear of a couple who had met only a couple of month earlier get married all of a sudden and the issue on everyone’s mind isn’t how lavish the celebration was or the fact that they are from different tribes but the scary fact that they didn’t date for a long time. Now flip that around and what would you say about a couple who had been married for forty years and sadly sign the dotted lines with a divorce lawyer? It feels safe to say the longer you hang around with someone, the more you’ll get to know them. People could be deceptive and not reveal their real self. A school of thought might be to keep your secrets till you get married, some other might share a few. Similar to going for an interview people generally out their best foot forward and in relationships if you knew all the not-so-nice things about them, you might reconsider making a commitment.

4.Dating A Younger Guy May Not Work –
Many couples in recent times start dating someone they’ve recently met at a training course or singles program at church or referred by a friend surging this age group. There are a few exceptions when the guy is significantly older or perceived to be from another generation. We may readily think getting married to an older guy, say twelve to fifteen year apart might not work as the concept of a master-slave relationship comes to mind but there’s no proof that this relationship won’t work. It surely will have strains and limits but there are couples out there who have gone on well with each other. Getting married to a younger guy is a difficult concept for many to grasp because as a lady you want to submit to a leadership you respect. If you’ve met someone who’s younger, you really like and he’s all in, take the risk, it might just work for you.

5.Love Conquers All –
At a wedding  I recently attended, the Chairman made a statement which got me thinking. He said ‘Love is blind, marriage will open the blind eyes’. It must have been a shock to the love birds who sat in front of everyone to be told that just hours after walking down the aisle but that’s the rude shock many get after years of being together. Bring in love is great but most times it’s the fluttering feelings we have when we’ve met someone we like. They generally tend to fade over time when reality sets in. Resolving conflicts and msg or differences will take more than ‘love’. You’re going to need a lot of tolerance, resilience, overlooking faults, tons of forgiveness and staying committed to your vows to keep on going. When the emotional hormones subside, the maturity of both couples to forge ahead despite the issues will be needful.

6.Play Hard To Get –
People have got different thoughts on this one. Depending on what stage of your life and what type of guy is involved, you’ll get different responses on this issue. Unfortunately it’s not worked for everyone. Done ladies have played hard to get and lost a really good guy. They think about it every now and then regretting had they made a move they may not be single today. If you want a guy’ to place a high  value on you, you don’t have to manipulate him to get that fine, if he’s gone out with someone else who was hard to get, this might be a turn off for him and that might be it. Your worth and self esteem is really your responsibility, you place a high worth on yourself and not manipulate others to out that on you. You also don’t want to be available just for anyone but keep your eyes open for the right guy who may just be around the corner.